My Christmas wish is never to have a blue christmas. As far as I can remember, Christmas is always a sad day for me. Not sad, sad...but sad, depressed. Lonely. Nostalgic. I don't know why, no matter how hard I try, I'd still feel...blue. =(

A curse?

Who knows...I had only 1hr 45 min for sleep last night so I'm like...super stoning right now. Gonna watch Night of the Museum later with my family...

How did I spent my Christmas?

Well. Christmas Blast went really successful. =) Despite so many things, we got a lot of comments that the dance was good. Okok, cut off the modesty, I was surprised that people thought I dance really well- considering I don't do retro...but all the training and trying to get that damn stage presence paid off. And by the grace of God, we did what we did. Hee.

Argh. Tired.

Then, yesterday, went to Alicia's party- there was this huge mixture of hyper teens, kids and even adults. Resulting in the adult CG leader looking seriously stressed until after the games (which i was the game master!!!! Hee hee). To say the truth, I felt pretty accomplished when the game could actually make him laugh. Ho.

Met this really really articulate 6 year old girl, and her adorable brother Samuel (whom Kenneth keeps traumatizing...) and I'm pretty impressed by her. Played Twister till my joints ached and I'm reminded that I have grown old. =(

We watched horror movies, which was after we drank wine and ate durian cake (can you imagine the darn calories???) and chocolates...wine was from 1999, so it's already aged and stuff like that. Pretty strong, burnt straight down my throat, and even my lips. But then, I suffered the after effects of gastric. Thank God I forgot to bring along my pill...or else.

We watched horror till...6.15am. After which, Alicia and Xiu Mei went to sleep in Alicia's room, and I decided not to join them since...I'll most likely kick them off or they would toss and turn and I wouldn't be able to sleep...so I slept at the living room, on the floor, with a small cushion as my pillow, with the guys. Pretty wierd, come to think of it. But when you're sober and really tired, you just don't really think of...well...of being the only female sleeping in a room full of guys.

I woke up at like, 8am...when Joshua's handphone went off and Xiu Mei couldn't shut it off. And it's super super wierd to wake up to a guy's voice larhhhh. And Jiang Liang keeps breathing into the back of my ears, cause he kept rolling closer and closer to me on the floor. In the end, i decided to just wake up and be sober.

And I'm still quite sober at the moment. And blue...we had ferrero Rocher or however you spell it, for breakfast (w/o brushing our teeth...disgusting to say...) and we watched more horror shows. And I finally understood Ju-On! Heee!

I WANT 'ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU' BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!!!!! Beats Mariah Carey anytime.

I'm getting to be so emo and sentimental...

Merry Christmas to all. Gonna steal a christmas ball from church's christmas tree and hang it on my door knob.

Back from shopppinggggggggg!!!! With Shalini. =) In all my life, I have never had someone whom I can so easily read her mind, and vice versa. Seriously. I mean, of course I have my besties in which whenever I'm with them I can never be glam since I let my guard down...then there's Rach whom I'm not afraid to let out everything and keep back nothing...then of course, there's my classmates which I get super noisy with (and eat like nobody's business...and talk about all sorts of things like...bra in public)...but Shalini and I...it's different. I know what she's thinking, what she likes, what catches her eyes...and she knows what I'm thinking, what i like and what would catch my eyes. It was just so so awesome to go out with her and seriously just...shop. Too bad Cui Shan wasn't with us though...and too bad I couldn't take pictures to upload here.

Decided I shall put on mascara today instead of eyeliner, it's nice to find out that I still can put mascara without screwing up, since I haven't touched it for so long. Put on a skirt and a plain black crew neck tee so i don't overkill anything, heels and a SMALL BAG FOR ONCE. Haha, yarh. We went to Vivo City and ate at this Shin Ku...something, that had a pretty good deal. For less than $20 (not including GST and service charge though...), you get your main meal, 2 appetizers, pickles (radish, the yellow ones), miso soup and fruits. I had raw tuna slices and sushi rice and Shalini had pork loin with...some sweet sauce, which was pretty good. We were given potato salad with overpowering onions, veggies that tastes like peanuts but has the consistency for just cooked vegetables and 2 small slice of rock melon. And ordered soft drinks for a freaking $3.00 each larh. But we were pretty happy, I mean when you're with your friend, though the food is expensive you're still quite happy right?

After that, we went accessories shopping since I was looking for beads and Shalini wanted gold necklace with a lot of lockets and bling blings. I have my beads, she didn't...we went walking around the whole place and in the end, both of us got sunglasses as well. WHICH IS SO DAMN COOL, hee hee. Then I bought some long-sleeved holey top and she had long-sleeved white shirt with gold splashes. And topping that off, we went to eat ice cream at Swensons and was seriously broke. I mean, I currently have only $2 and she had only $4, and we each brought about $85-95 cash with us when we started out. But I'm a happyyyyyy soul. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So. Anyway. Last Tuesday, went to Plaza Sing with Gwen, Pika and Muna. Where we each ordered small waffle with single scoop of ice cream at Gelare, then went to order large waffle with two scoops of ice cream. Gwen went to buy some chicken cutlet thing which was pretty good...and we finished it before our large waffle came. Like hungry ghost festival. Considering how I've been eating the past few weeks...I'm seriously shocked at losing so much weight now larh. I mean, yarh...it's kind of unhealthy. I dropped one whole damn inch. Anyway, we went undergarment shopping since I needed to buy a neutral coloured undergarment and we went to watch HAPPY FEET.

So currently, I have spent off all of the $150 my mum gave me this month and at least $70 from my previous work money...and on sunday, I'll be out to celebrate Jo Lyn and Alicia's birthday...and next friday I'm out with Shalini for dinner. Come to think of it, I suppose it's alright...since I'll be working from next monday on till school reopens.

AND I SHALL BUY MY ICEWINEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope it's not sold out when I get my money to buy it...

I'm warning you the following entry will not make much sense and is quite long. Just needed to clear my head before I start working on projects again.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR 15TH DECEMBER WHERE I WILL BE OUT SHOPPINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! At Vivo =) 12th December- out to eat Gelare, since we're all poor souls.

Within 2 days, i've spent $38. HOW AM I TO SURVIVE FOR THE WHOLE DARN MONTH?

I'm starting to swear...mostly in my mind. Got to take control of that.

Just painted my toe nails white. Well, silverish white. Anything to get my mind off PROJECTS. Of all places why don't terrorists bomb schools huh?

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

I lost my urmbrella, can't remember where i put it =(

Went out with Suejen for breakfast today, it was so great to see her! Can't wait to have you in Highlife next year babe!

Do I consider myself fortunate? Er. Well, I know I'm fairly well-off but not filthy rich like some of my cousins. So the thing about Indo chinese being rich, that ain't true.

I LOVE ALMOND NOUGGETS AND SPINACH!However you spell the nou thing.

What heck.

Would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

I died, did I die? Argh, still can't figure out this stupid game.

I have ugly ugly eyebagssssss. So many ppl are going overseas, I pray to have one day to be a pig and not regret it.

Just got a lot of chocolates from the States, given generously by my friend, hee.

WIRELESS URINAL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. JOKE OF THE TIME. So damn futuristic and innovative huh. Sorry, inside joke. The wireless should be waterless.

The Espirit shirts I was oogling the other day? Turns out they looked ugly on me. Or more pessimistically said, I looked ugly in them. Haiz.

Dining at RITS this thurs, wheeeeee

Having slight gastric, wonder why.

Should I sleep now and wake up at...oh can't. i need to submit my part by 2am and it's now 8.30pm.

I just heard this order today at whitesands Yakun: "Uncle arh, can I have iced Milo without ice?" Hellooooooooooo.

I'm craving caramel frap. Starbucks!!! Major ripoff but so damn good.

I swear I can now see the hollow under the apples of my cheek when the MRT goes into the tunnel- I have lost weight. So hopefully, I have lost 1 inch in order to fit into the christmas costume.

I've been dreaming of being killed. First I dreamt I was gonna get shot in school. Then dreamt I was going to be er, beaten up to death in some karate school. Someday. I shall dream of death by chocolates. Shows how stressed I am.

Juice! I like juice because I read some juicing book. Haha, dumb but true.

Bits of chicken and beef are stuck in between my teeth and braces. Yucks.

Suejen and I were talking about relationships today. There's something really cool about a man who's intelligent and excels in his field of work, that kind of attraction is far bigger than having a perfect body. But of course, he need to carry himself well.

My right eye hurts from being too dry...haiz.

How much have I written?

"Turn away, if you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favourite colours
My sisters and my brothers still, I will not catch you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
Now turn away, 'cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs' abandoned all my body
Oh my agony
Know that I will never marry
Baby I'm just soggy from the chemo
I'm counting down the days to go
It's just a living and I just hope you know
That if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you"
-Cancer. It's a sad sad song...

Here's another emo song. Can't stand it? Don't bother scrolling down then. Just tag and say goodbye.

"This night, walk the dead
In the solitary style and crash the cemetary gates
In the dress your husband hates
Lay down, mark the grave
Where the searchlights find us drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

Back home, off the run
Singing songs that made you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop crying, won't stop dying
If you want I'll keep on trying
Did you get what you deserve
Is this what you always want me for

I miss you, I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down, way down"
- Cemetary Drive. It's basically about a guy singing about having an affair with this married woman, she listened to sad songs and I think ppl found out that she was dating another guy besides her husband. She suicided and now he's trying to let go of her, yet he can't. So at the last part ('way down'), he tries to bury his pain. It's really tragic...

"Now come on, come on to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out first hand what it's like to be me
So gather round 'piggies and kiss this goodbye
I encourage your smiles and expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag
Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag
You've got front row seats to the penitent ball
When I grow up I want to be nothing at all

I say yeah, yeah. I say yeah, yeah.
Come on, come on, come I said (save me)
Get me the hell out of here (save me)
Too young to die and my dear (You can't)
If you can't hear me, just walk away and (take me) "
-The end

Haiz.